PS 3503 
■ R53 R4 
1915 



> PLAYS EXCHANGED. 



c w . \ker'3 Edition 

~» 6T PL7W,5 



A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy 



Price, 25 Cents 



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THE A M A 7HN^ Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five f e- 
inJu /\l"liiXi\Jli»J males. Costumes, modern; scenery, not 
difficult. Plays a full evening. 

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tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening • 

1*1 AMITY 1*11 PK" Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- 
U1\lSU I 1/iviV males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two inte- 
riors. Plays two hours and a half. 

TUr PAVI AOn fklTEY Comedy in Four Acts. Four males, 
InL UAI L\Jl\V ViUEiA ten females. Costumes, modern ; 
scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

UIC UAITCI7 IM A I? HEP Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, 
nld nUUOL 111 UAUJLIV f our females. Costumes, modern; 
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THE HARRY UARQE Comedy in Three Acts. Ten males, 
HIE ni/DDl rll/IVOEi fi V e females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. 

IDTC Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
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A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy 

A Comedy in Three Acts 



By 
GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM 

Author of "Leave it to Polly," "A Regular Scream? 

"Sally Lunn? "Six Times Nine? "On 

the Quiet? etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO, 

1915 



A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy 



CHARACTERS 






jry 






Should be played by 

boys sixteen and 

seventeen years old. 



LeRoy Briggs, captain of football team 
Sam Bigelow, center 
Fred Williamson, quarter-back 
Harold Smith, halfback 
Philip Ainsworth, sub 
Dick Colton, sub 
Russell Sidney } 

Leonard Fergurson \ Juniors. 
Stephen Reynolds ) 

Clayton King, football coach and an instructor in the Academy. 
Murphy, t?-ainer. 
Mr. Deane, an instructor. 

Alexander Norton, manager of the Star Moving Picture The- 
atre, and originator of Norton s Nervy Novelties. 
Jimmy Colton, Dick's little brother, a Regular Rah I Rah! Boy. 

Extra schoolboys and football players for acts two and three. 



SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Colton's room, Milford Academy. November of any 
year. 

Act II. — Locker room in the gymnasium. The following 
Saturday. 

Act III. — Same as Act I. Evening of the same day. 

Plays About One Hour and Three-Quarters. 




Copyright, 1914, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



i 



0V-7I9I4 

GI.D 38734 

*-0/ 



A Regular Rah! Rah! Boy 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Colton's room; exits, r. a?id c. 

(As curtain rises, Leonard Fergurson sits at table writ- 
ing and whistling very much out of tu?ie. Russell Sid- 
ney is studying,') 

Sid. {looking up, very much annoyed). Say, Len, for the 
love of Pete, does that noise help you to solve your problems ? 

Ferg. {throwing down his pencil). I believe it does, Rus. 
I have finished the last one. 

Sid. Then perhaps you will cease long enough to let me 
get some of this Greek into my head. 

Ferg. Delighted to, I am sure. It's a pity, though, that 
you haven't an ear for music. 

Sid. I'd say music ! If you struck the right key once in 
ten measures I wouldn't complain. {Looks at his watch.) 
Say, it's getting late. Aren't you going to watch the practice 
at all this afternoon ? 

Ferg. No. It actually makes me sick to my stomach. 
Hoslin out ! Mason out ! And the big game right at hand ! 
We are doomed this year all right. I can't bear to watch the 
practice any more. 

Sid. It makes me sicker to watch Phil and Dick both try- 
ing for Hoslin's place. 

Ferg. Who do you suppose will win out ? 

Sid. Dick, I think. 

Ferg. Well, heaven help him if he does. Phil doesn't like 
Dick, anyway, and if Dick beats him at this I won't answer 
for the consequences. Ever notice the expression on Phil's 
face when he is watching Dick ? 

Sid. Well, rather. He looks like an Indian. It's a pity 
for a fellow to have a disposition like that. You never can tell 
what it will 'lead to, but I honestly believe Phil can't help it. 



4 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Ferg. He doesn't try. There's a yellow streak in that 
fellow. Arid Dick is so unconscious of it all. 

Sid. Dick ? He thinks every one has sprouted wings or is 
just about to. But you mustn't be too hard on Phil. He has 
his good points. 

Ferg. Well, I'd like to see some of them ! 

Sid. No, you wouldn't. If you really wanted to see good 
in him you could. 

Ferg. Well, of course I don't love him very much. 

Sid. That doesn't make any difference. You can be just. 
I never loved Phil any better than you do, but I certainly can 
see that he has good points. Just look at his standing in his 
class. 

Ferg. Oh, I know what his standing is. I didn't say there 
was anything the matter with his intellect, did I ? 

Sid. Well, he had to study to gain his standing, and he has 
to plug to keep it. That certainly is one thing to his credit. 
And then he 

(Ferg. grabs up a cover from a couch and wraps it around 
Sid.'s head.) 

Ferg. Consider yourself squelched, if you please. If you 
can't talk about something agreeable you can go back to your 
own lair. The idea of your coming into my room and 

Sid. {scornfully, enter gi fig from couch cover). Your room? 

Ferg. That reminds me ! Dickie isn't going to have this 
room in single blessedness any longer. Perhaps we shall not 
be as welcome here to-morrow as we are to-day. 

Sid. Why ? Some one coming here with Dick ? 

Ferg. Yes. Didn't he say anything about it? 

Sid. No. Who is it ? Phil ? They'd make corking chums. 

Ferg. I don't know who it is. A new fellow. 

Sid. A new one ? At this time in the season ? I thought 
that was against the rules. 

Ferg. It is, but this is an exceptional case. Some fellow 
whose father graduated from here or something like that. I 
don't remember exactly what Dick said. Anyway, the fellow 
is expected to be a member of our class, and if he passes his 
exams he is to have these rooms with Dick. 

Sid. How nice ! 

Ferg. Let us hope so. He will have to be right on top of 
us all the time. You know how Dick feels about our duty to 
new fellows. 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 5 

Sid. Very likely that's why he is put here. He can't be a 
stranger or lonely very long with Dick for a roommate. 

Enter Fred Williamson, c. 

Wil. Dick hasn't come up yet ? 

Sid. No. How did it go, Wil ? Are you nearly dead ? 

Wil. (throwing himself onto couch). Just about. Practice 
was simply rotten. This is the year that Derry eats us alive 
and we aren't to blame either. Our best players are laid off. 

Ferg. Did they decide on the sub for Hoslin's place? 

Wil. Yes. 

*™ G '\ (together). Who? 

Wil. Dick. 

Ferg. Three cheers ! 

Sid. It's all right to cheer, but Dick had better watch out. 
I suppose Phil is almost tickled to death. 

Wil. Well, Phil didn't act very nice just at first but he will 
get over it. He has to see that it's for the good of the team. 
If he doesn't Mr. King and Roy will make him see it. 

(Sam Bigelow comes to door, C. He is rather short and 
extremely stout. ) 

Ferg. Hello, you old ice-wagon ! Come on in ! You are 
looking fine. How are you feeling ? 

(Big. enters and sinks down in an armchair.) 

Big. I'm nearly dead. I am being killed by inches and 
nobody cares anything about it. 

Ferg. Poor little thing ! 

Sid. It's a shame. 

Wil. Mother's pet ! 

Big. Gee ! You make me sick ! You fellows dragged me 
out on the field and actually made me try out for football with 
a lot of silly twaddle about glory, and honor, and duty, and 
school spirit. I did my very worst, and the captain and the 
coach were pleased as punch and gave me a position on the 
regular team right away. Just my darned luck ! I have been 
hammered and thumped and banged ever since, and the more 
brutally I am treated the harder you laugh. 

Wil. Brutally treated ! Believe me it's the other fellow 
that gets hammered and thumped. When any one comes in 



6 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

contact with you, Sam, it's just like going up against the side 
of a barn. You can't see under nor over, nor can you move 
it from its foundation a quarter of an inch. 

Big. I suppose you think that's funny. I'm losing about 
ten pounds a day. I'll be a mere shadow by Saturday. I 
have absolutely lost my appetite 

Sid. Oh-o-o-o ! 

Ferg. Sammy, be careful ! 

Wil. Draw it mild. 

Big. And you call me mother's pet. I'd just like to go home 
and be mother's pet for a while. I bet I'd have something to 
eat. Hoslin broke his collar-bone and can't play. Mason's 
got water on the knee and can't play. I haven't even dislo- 
cated an eyelash. Nothing to prevent me from going out on 
the field every day and having the stuffings knocked out of me. 
Just my darned luck ! 

(Mr. Deane comes to door, c. Stands looking in. Stephen 
Reynolds stands back of him. The boys rise.) 

Deane. Come right in, Master Reynolds. {Looks about.) 
Well, dear me ! (Deane is rather slight, about forty, wears 
glasses, is very nervous.) Every one here but the one who 
belongs here. It's most extraordinary the way you occupy 
each other's rooms in the absence of the rightful occupant. 

Ferg. Dick doesn't mind, Mr. Deane. He knows he is 
welcome in our rooms. 

Deane. Yes, but that isn't the point. What do you have 
rooms of your own for ? Why don't you stay in them once in 
a while ? 

Sid. Our own rooms are good places to sleep and dress, 
but it's more fun to hang out in the other fellow's room. 

Deane. So it seems ! So it seems ! But I can't under- 
stand it. 

Wil. Wasn't it so when you were in school, Mr. Deane ? 

Deane. Dear me, no ! I spent the greater part of my time 
in my own room, and I spent it studying. I didn't spend my 
time running around a field and trying to kick a silly ball. 
There really should be a rule here about staying in your room 
certain hours of the day. Why don't you come in, Piaster 
Reynolds ? {Discovers that he is blocking the doorway, steps 
one side. Rey. enters. He is tall, light complexioned, a trifle 
awkward and very diffident.) Master Colton who sleeps in 
this room is out. I presume he comes here occasionally. 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 7 

These young gentlemen who have no right here at all are 
Master Bigelow, Master Williamson, Master Sidney, Master 
Fergurson. (The fellows shake hands with Rev.) This is 
the sleeping apartment in here. 

[Exit Deane, r., followed by Rey. 

Wil. (starting for door). Come on for pity's sake. 

Sid. Yes, we better get to a place where we have a few 
rights. 

Ferg. (disgusted). Isn't Deane the darndest pill? 

Big. (indignantly). I wish he had to get out and try to 
kick a silly ball. 

(A tremendous bumping noise is heard in the hall.) 

Sid. (hurrying to the door). What the deuce? 

Enter Deane, r. 

Deane. Why this unseemly noise ? 

Ferg. (looking out door and trying not to laugh). It's Mas- 
ter Reynolds' trunk, sir. 

Deane (going to door). John, cease this disturbance at 
once. It is time you learned to bring up a trunk without dis- 
turbing the peace and quiet of the entire building. You may 
go. You have created sufficient commotion for one afternoon. 
Master Williamson, help Master Reynolds with his trunk. You 
are so fond of exercise, see if you can display a little muscle in 
this direction. 

Wil. Sure thing. (Calls.) Oh, you Reynolds! Heave 
to and stand ready while I deliver the goods ! 

(Rey. comes to door, r.) 

Deane. Master Williamson, such freedom with a young 
man who is an absolute stranger to you ! And do you realize 
that you said " sure thing " to me? 

Wil. Did I really, Mr. Deane? I beg your pardon, sir. 
Master Reynolds, I rejoice in the opportunity of assisting you 
with your baggage. 

Ferg. Let us help, too, Mr. Deane. [Exit, c. 

Sid. Yes, it's mean to let Williamson have all the honors. 

(Follows Ferg., and Big. hurries after. They contrive to 
slide the trunk i?ito the room onto Deane's/^/.) 



8 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Deane. Oh ! 0\v ! What do you think you are doing ? 
All. Oh, Mr. Deane, did we hurt you? We are so sorry. 
Deane {pointing to door). Go ! Go down-stairs ! Out 
of my sight before I forget that I am a gentleman. 

(Ferg., Sid. and Big. make a hurried exit, c. Wil. helps 
Rey. to slide the trunk i?ito room atR., then follows the 
boys. Deane sits down and holds first one foot ', then the 
other.) 

Rey. Can I do anything for you, sir ? 

Deane. No ! No, I thank you. This school is going to 
be the death of me. I can plainly see it. I should never have 
come here. You can unpack and arrange your belongings and 
then come down to my study. No. 10. First floor. I will — 
er — talk with you in regard to your lessons for to-morrow, and 
so forth. [Exit, c. 

(Rey. removes his coat. Carries it to room, r. Returns 
and looks about room with interest. Opens his traveling- 
bag, takes out several photographs, regards them doubt- 
fully, finally arranges them on mantel.) 

Harold Smith (outside). Dick ! I say, Dickie ! Are 
you in? (Enters c.) Oh, beg pardon. I was looking for 
Colton. 

Rey. He isn't here just now. Come in and wait. I was 
— er — just going down-stairs to talk with Mr. Deane. 

[Exit, c. 

(Smith crosses room and sits down by table.) 

Philip Ainsworth (entering a). Colton ! (Stops ab- 
ruptly as he sees Smith.) Oh, so you are here, are you? I 
knew half the school would hustle over to tell Dick how glad 
they are that he got in ahead of me, but I hadn't expected it 
of you. 

Smith (angry at first). That's uncalled for and unjust. I 
want to see Colton in regard to something entirely different 
than football. ( Walks over to Ains., and puts his hand on his 
shoulder.) Phil, old man, I'm sorry. I don't know as this is 
just the place to say it, here in Dick's room, but I know how 
much you wanted Hoslin's place, and I am sorry for you. 

Ains. Thanks, Harold. I didn't mean what I said to you. 
I guess you are the only one who is sorry. Every one wanted 
Colton. 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 9 

Smith. No, they didn't, Phil. You shouldn't feel that way. 
Every one wanted the best player in Hoslin's place for the good 
of the team, and that's all there was to it. You surely wanted 
that yourself. If Dick can play a better game than you, why, 
you are man enough to cheer him on and be glad he is there. 

Ains. That's an easy line of talk for the fellow who is al- 
ready in and sure of his place. You wouldn't feel the same if 
you were in my place. Col ton's got another year here. This 
is my last. Colton's got four years at college ahead of him. 
This is the end for me. Next year I have to get out into the 
world and go to work. This was my last chance, and I've 
lost. Who can tell anything by practice ? When the time came 
I could play as good a game as Dick Colton ; very likely better. 
Briggs is partial to Colton, and so is King. 

(Rey. enters, a?id stands just inside the door looking at them 
doubtfully.') 

Smith. Phil, you are talking nonsense. Mr. King and Roy 
are absolutely square, and you know it ! 

Ains. They would put Colton in anyway. I wish to heaven 
something would stop him from playing. If I could think of a 
way of stopping him I would do it. 

Smith. Phil, you are beside yourself! You don't know 

what you are saying ! Supposing some one should hear you ? 

[Exit Rey., r.. unnoticed by others. 

Ains. I don't care if they do. 

Smith. Yes, you do care, and you don't mean what you 
say. Come on over to your room. You don't want to see 
Dick now anyway. 

Ains. Oh, don't be afraid for your little pet ! I won't hurt 
him any. 

Smith {out of patience). No, I bet you won't ! Not if he 
sees you first. 

Enter Sid., Ferg., Wil. and Big., c. 

Sid. Hello, fellows ! 

(Smith and Ains. respond, Ains. controlling himself with 
an effort.) 

Ferg. Where in the deuce is Dick ? We've looked every- 
where. 

Wil. {looking about). What's become of Master Reynolds ? 



10 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

(Rey. comes to door, r., and stands looki?ig in unnoticed by 
the others.') 

Smith. Is Master Reynolds tall and light complexioned ? 

Wil. He is. 

Smith. Well, he has gone down to have a seance with 
Fussy Deane. 

Sid. Three groans ! 

Smith. Where did he blow in from ? 

Ferg. We know not. 

Wil. {examining pictures on mantel). Master Reynolds 
has been making himself at home. 

Ferg. (Joining him). I should say so. The whole family, 
I guess ! Hasn't he a nerve ? 

Wil. He is somewhat fresh, it appears. They say he enters 
our class, but I am afraid they have made a mistake. You 
would have thought he would have had decency enough to 
have waited for Dick to come in before he took possession. 

Ains. (trying to speak ?iaturally). A new roommate for 
Colton ? 

Sid. Yes, and believe me, an unwelcome one. 

Ferg. He will be poking his nose into everything we do, I 
suppose ? 

Big. Oh, perhaps he will know enough to mind his own 
business. 

(Rey. withdraws from door.) 

Enter Clayton King and LeRoy Briggs, c. The boys all 
jump to their feet. 

All. Oh, Mr. King ! Come in ! Won't you sit down? 

King. No, I think not. I wanted to see Colton for a few 
minutes. 

Sid. He hasn't come up yet, but probably he won't be 
much longer. 

King. When he comes in send him down to my room. 
Ainsworth, I am more glad than I can tell you to find you 
here. I was very much afraid that you were not going to look 
at things from the right standpoint. I did you an injustice. 
Of course you are man enough to put aside your own disap- 
pointment and think of the school first. It is just as important 
now for you to work your hardest and do your best, more im- 
portant if anything, for we are not as sure of Colton as we were 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY II 

of Hoslin. It is more than likely, you know, that you will 
have to go into the game. Colton may not last over the first 
half. You will be ready ? 

Ains. {trying to cover his real feeling). Yes, sir. 

King {to Briggs). You are going to wait for Colton ? 

Briggs. Yes, sir. 

King. All right. {Exit, c. 

Ferg. Thank heaven the glory and honor of Milford A. 
doesn't rest upon my shoulders. It's depressing. 

Big. You bet it is ! 

Briggs. Traitors! {Takes a picture from mantel.) Dare 
you talk like that in the presence of our mascot ? 

Big. (in surprise). Our mascot? {Takes picture from 
Briggs.) That's news to me. Who is the kid ? 

Briggs. Dick's little brother. Didn't he ever tell you 
about him? He's a regular rah! rah! boy. I took that 
picture when I visited Dick just before we came up in Sep- 
tember. That kid was born with football in his soul. I 
adopted him as my mascot. He reads about the games in the 
papers, and every week he writes us the greatest letters you 
ever heard. Why, Dick cares more for that kid than anything 
else on earth. If anything should happen to him Dick would 
go crazy. You know they haven't any mother, and the father 
is a traveling man. He doesn't come home very often and, 
although he does everything for them, I don't think he displays 
very much affection toward them. 

Ains. {trying not to appear too much interested). Who do 
they live with ? 

Briggs. An old maid aunt down in 

Enter Dick Colton, c. 

Ferg. Here he is ! 

Sid. It's about time you came in. Everyone under the 
sun has been up here looking for you. 

Big. You are the biggest man in school now. 

Col. Present company excepted. 

Big. Oh, take a fellow your own size. 

Col. {going to Ains., takes his hand and says heartily). 
Phil, I believe a mistake was made to-day. I believe you are 
the better man of the two and can play the better game. 

Briggs (dryly). Thank you in behalf of Mr. King and 
myself for the compliment to our judgment in putting you into 
the game. 



12 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Col. The wisest make mistakes sometimes. I think you 
made one to-day. I played my hardest because you told me 
to, but I believe Ainsworth can really play a better game than 
I can. Do you know, I think I am going to have cold feet 
when the time comes. 

Briggs {sharply). Well, I think you are not ! 

Sid. For heaven's sake, Dick, what is the matter with you ? 

Ferg. That's what I should like to know ! 

Big. What about glory and honor and school spirit and all 
the rest of it? 

Col. Oh, that will come back to me, I suppose, when I am 
rested. Just now I feel like a squeezed lemon. 

Big. Put it there ! We are martyrs in an unhappy and 
forlorn cause. 

Briggs {severely). Well, I guess that will be just about 
enough for both of you. Colton, Mr. King wants to see you 
at once. You are to go right down to his room. I will wait 
until you come back for I want to see you, too. 

Col. All right. I will go at once. {Starts for door. 
Glances uneasily at Briggs.) Of course you know I didn't 
mean that 

Briggs {interrupting). Don't make any excuses. I know 
what you said. I don't want to hear any more. 

Ferg. Some of the rest of us wanted to see you too, Dickie, 
but it looks like a poor chance for us insignificant little nobodys. 

Wil. We will escort you down to Mr. King's and come 
back later in the day. 

(Ferg., Big., Smith and Ains. exeunt, c. Col. looks back 
at Briggs, and comes back.) 

Col. Oh, Roy, here's a letter from the kid. Such a letter ! 
You want to read what he says about last Saturday's game ! 
That boy is the greatest that ever happened ! 

{Hands Briggs a letter.) 

Briggs. Thanks. (Col. exits c. Briggs slips letter into 
his pocket.) It's good there's something that interests him. 

Sid. What's the matter with him, Roy ? 

Briggs. Several things. He's a trifle overtrained. He has 
worried too much about the last few days. He hated to fight 
against Ainsworth. Di'ck plays for the school. Ainsworth 
plays for himself. He wanted Hoslin's place more than any- 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 1 3 

thing on earth just for the glory it would bring to him. Dick 
realizes that, although he won't admit it. Now that Dick has 
been chosen for the place he is a little bit scared. He isn't as 
sure of himself as he should be. Somebody's got to put some 
confidence into him. He will have to be roused for there's 
a lot depending on him. Duty, school spirit and loyalty to 
coach and captain have been talked until they are part of his 
life and they don't rouse the right enthusiasm. 

Sid. If he was only struck on a pretty girl who would come 
to the game and wave a Milford flag, I suppose that might fill 
the bill. 

Briggs. Yes, it might ; but unfortunately Dick is the kind 
who runs a mile when he sees a girl coming. Odd, too, for 
they all think he is terribly cute. {Glances toward mantel} 
By Jove, I know what will do the trick ! The kid ! 

Sid. Jimmy ? 

Briggs. Yes, sir ! Jimmy ! I'm going to send for him to 
come up to the game. 

Sid. But how about that aunt he lives with ? Will she let 
him come up here alone ? 

Briggs. I think so. I made myself rather square with her 
when I visited them. 

Sid. I'll bet you did. It's a little way you have. Say, 
you are a wonder. You never seem to have to be braced up 
any, but you are always bracing the other fellows. 

Briggs. It's the others that need it. I would be a fine 
captain if I needed bracing, wouldn't I ? You will help me 
get away with this, Sid ? 

Sid. Sure thing ! What position do I play ? 

Briggs. Keep the thing a secret. Meet the kid at the train 
and bring him up to the field. He shall be our mascot in 
earnest and we will give Dick the surprise of his life. I will 
go and write a letter to Miss Applebee right away. 'There's no 
time to lose. Tell Dicl$ to wait in his room for me. I'll be 
right back. [Exit, c. 

(Slight pause. Wil. and Ferg. enter, c., very much excited.) 

Wil. Rus ! Rus ! Listen ! We are disgraced for life 
and I am doomed, and I wish I had died in my early youth. 

Sid. What the deuce ? 

Ferg. Oh, honest, Rus, this is heartrending. I don't 
know what we are going to do ! 

Wil. Oh, such a headache ! 



14 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Sid. Will you stop your silly babbling and tell me what has 
happened ? 

Ferg. Yes. Read that I {Hands him a letter.) 

Sid. (reading). "Mr. Leonard Fergurson, Milford Acad- 
emy, Cherryford, Conn. Dear sir: — For weeks I have been 
trying to find out youse address, and to-day the prop, of the 
Heuton House told me who youse was, but he couldn't tell me 
the names of the young gents who posed with you for my cir- 
cus day moving picture. I specially wants the funny little fel- 
low. The film you posed for was released some weeks ago and 
has made a big hit. It come out fine, and I have it featured 
as one of Norton's Nervy Novelties. The little fellow is a gen- 
uine sensation, and I hopes as how you have all seen yourselves 
on the screen. I am coming out to the Academy Saturday 
morning to find the funny little fellow and see if he will pose 
for me again. I will make it worth his while. Yours very 
truly, Alexander Norton, manager of Star Theatre, Halmsford, 
Conn. Originator of Norton's Nervy Novelties." Why — why, 
fellows, this will have to be stopped. Imagine his telling Dr. 
Marston that we posed for a moving picture and that some of 
Milford A.'s most exclusive young hopefuls are now being seen 
on the screen at the Star Theatre in Halmsford, and goodness 
only knows where else. He mustn't be allowed to come out 
here ! 

Wil. You bet he mustn't ! Saturday morning, the day of 
the game ! 

Sid. Well, what on earth has the game got to do with it ? 
He mustn't be allowed to come at all. 

Wil. You poor stewed prune, don't you realize that I am 
the funny little fellow referred to in this delightful epistle? 
And don't you realize that I broke a rule that day by going 
down to Halmsford with you fellows without permission ? And 
don't you realize that I broke training that day at Heuton's? 
And don't you remember that Dr. Marston said that he didn't 
care much about our having football at Milford this season, and 
if we were going to have it he was going to step in and make 
some rules that we would all abide by ? And don't you re- 
member that he said that if any fellow broke training just once, 
or broke any rule just once, or failed in any lesson just once, 
that he wouldn't play in a game no matter what position he 
played or how much the school needed him ? 

Sid. (somewhat dazed). Seems as if I do have a hazy rec- 
ollection of some such thing. 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 1 5 

Wil. Don't think I am a coward. As far as I am con- 
cerned I can face Dr. Marston, and Mr. King and Briggs, and 
take my punishment like a little man. When it comes right 
down to it I guess that's what I ought to do, but do you know 
what it would mean to the team if I went out Saturday ? 
Heaven knows we are in the deuce of a hole now. I don't 
know where we would be if any one else went out. 

Ferg. That's right. We must stop this confounded duffer 
from coming out here. Our genuine little sensation must be 
allowed to play for the glory and honor of Milford A. ! 

Sid. Fellows, I can tell you a sequel to this story. I heard 
Mr. Deane telling Mr. Lee that he was over to Halmsford last 
week, and he went to the Star Theatre with a friend. I was so 
paralyzed to think Fussy would go to a moving picture show 
that I guess it knocked the significance of his following state- 
ment out of my head. He said he saw a picture of some fel- 
lows that looked so much like some Milford A. boys that he 
was actually startled. 

Wil. Deane ? Ye gods and little fishes ! It would be nuts 
for him to identify me as the funny little fellow. He isn't in 
sympathy with football. 

Sid. "Norton's Nervy Novelties." Holy smoke! if my 
aristocratic mother knew I had turned into a Nervy Novelty 
she would expire from mortification ! 

Ferg. Fellows, just why do you suppose we posed for that 
insufferable donkey? 

Sid. Oh, don't ask why we took sudden leave of our senses. 
All fellows do it at times. What I don't understand is why we 
pulled Fred along with us when we knew the rules, and 

Wil. Oh, now see here ! There wasn't any pulling along 
about it. I went of my own free will with my eyes wide open. 
I knew what I was doing, and I'll take my share of the blame. 
The only possible excuse for me is the fact that I was a sub at 
the time and hadn't any idea I was to be on the regular team, 
but that excuse wouldn't cut any ice with Dr. Marston. 

Ferg. The thing to do now is to think up some kind of a 
yarn which will keep Norton from coming down here Saturday. 

Sid. Well, our original little funny man ought to be able to 
get away with that. 

Wil. Oh, yes ! Ha! Ha! Great joke, isn't it? Believe 
me I don't feel half as funny as I did the day I posed as a 
Nervy Novelty. 

Ferg. Come on ! Don't be idling when there is a soul to 



1 6 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

save ! We've got to send Norton a special delivery, and the 
sooner we do it the better. 

Wil. We can never make it strong enough to keep him 
away from here. He isn't the kind to be discouraged at trifles. 
Gee ! I shall be perfectly dippy by Saturday morning. Well, 
if he does show up, you fellows have got to hang to him, and 
keep him away from me until after the game. 

Sid. {impatiently). Well, come and send him a message ! 
We will do our best to avert the catastrophe. 

{They exeu?it, c. Rey. comes from room, R. Looks about 
uncertainly y begins to take his pictures from mantel.) 

Enter Col., c. 

Col. Oh, hello ! You must be my new roommate. I am 
glad to meet you. (Shakes hands with him.) My name is 
Colton, Dick Colton. 

Rey. Thank you. My name is Stephen Reynolds. 

Col. Getting settled ? Want any help ? 

Rey. No, thank you, I guess not. I began to put some of 
my things around, and 

Col. (laughing). And what are you doing now ? Taking 
them down again ? 

Rey. {very much embarrassed). Well — well — you see, I 
thought perhaps it looked rather cheeky. You were here first, 
and — and — I thought perhaps you wouldn't like — er — you see, 
I don't want to be in your way 

Col. Now, see here, Stephen Reynolds, half of this room 
belongs to you, and the fact that I was here first hasn't any- 
thing to do with it. You put your stuff back quick, or I'll 
know the reason why. Here, let me move this stuff. 

Rey. {quickly). No, don't do that ! Your things are 
great. I haven't much of anything with me, not the right kind 
of things. You see, I never went to school a day in my life, 
and 

Col. {in astonishment). Never went to school ? 

Rey. No. My mother is an invalid, and we've always been 
traveling around, and I've had private teachers, mostly old 
maids, and they didn't do a fellow much good excepting in an 
educational way. My father graduated from here, but he is 
dead, and there really wasn't any one to tell me what to bring. 

Col. I see. You are a lucky fellow to have been traveling 
all your days, and if you have never been to school you cer- 
tainly have the time of your life ahead of you. If you like 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 1 7 

football you have landed in at a mighty good time. Excite- 
ment is at fever heat. We play our greatest enemy Saturday — 
Derry Academy. They have won from us three years straight, 
and if we don't make them bite the dust Saturday we are all 
going and jump off the bridge. ( Takes up a picture.) Is this 
your mother ? 

Rey. Yes. {Wistfully.') Do you think she is pretty ? 

Col. A perfect peach, if you will excuse the remark. She 
looks about eighteen. 

Rey. Yes, she does, and it's wonderful, for she has been 
sick for years. 

Col. Hard lines ! I haven't many family pictures to show 
up. My Aunt Polly refuses to pose before the camera. This 
is my little brother, Jimmy. He's the greatest kid you ever 
saw. Born to play football ! A regular rah ! rah ! boy. 
That reminds me that the captain of our team wanted to see 
me. He was waiting here when I went out. I guess I had 
better run over to his room. I'll be back in a few minutes and 
help you. By that time we will probably be ready for supper. 
Believe me, Steve, you are going to have more fun here than a 
box of monkeys. 

Rey. {gratefully). Thank you. 

{Exit Col., c. Rey. stands looking after him for a second ; 
puts his pictures back on the ma?itel ; exits r.) 

Enter Ains., c. ; glances quickly about ; goes to mantel ; takes 
picture of Jimmy from mantel, turns it over, looks disap- 
pointed, puts it back on mantel ; goes to table, takes up 
some letters, looks them over, glances uneasily toward door 
several times, finds what he wants, gives a satisfied 
"Ahf" Rey. comes to door, R. ; looks surprised when 
he sees Ains. ; stands in doorway watching him. 

Ains. {writing and speaking as he writes). Jimmy seri- 
ously hurt. Come at once. {Takes up letter ; copies.) Mrs. 
Polly Applebee, Meriden, Conn. {Puts the letter back in e?ivel- 
ope and places it carefully as he found it.) Bet that gets him ! 

{Picks up his message and exits c.) 

Rey. {walking into room, glances at table ; stands looking 
after Ains.). Now, what in time was that fellow up to? 

CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE. — Locker room in the gymnasium. Exit r., sup- 
posed to lead to lockers. Exit l., supposed to lead out- 
doors. All the room need contain is scales, settees, a table, 
a pile of blankets on the table, several pails and a lot of 
sponges on the floor near the table. 

(As the curtain rises Big. stands on the scales. Murphy 
near the table looking over the things. A group of players 
dressed for the game stand talking together. In the group 
is Smith, and with them are several fellows wearing 
heavy coats and sweaters and carrying orange flags with 
a black M. A.) 

Big. (dismally). I've gone fine in the last few days. I 
knew it was coming. (The fellows laugh.) That's right; 
laugh ! When I go to the hospital to-morrow with nervous 
prostration you will know I was speaking the truth all the while. 

Smith. What makes you wait until to-morrow ? Why don't 
you go this afternoon ? 

Murphy. Sure an' I wish they wuz all as fit as yerself, 
Sammy. It's one foine game we'd be havin' this afthernoon. 

Enter Briggs, l., followed by Col. Briggs is dressed for 
game. 

Briggs (cheerfully). It's one fine game we are going to 
have anyway, Murphy, and don't you forget it ! 

(Col. steps onto the scales.) 

Murphy. Sure, thot's roight, Capin. (To Col.) Yez ain't 
quite up to yez mark, but (looking at him anxiously) yez seems 
all roight. 

Col. (a trifle impatiently). Oh, I am ! There's nothing 
the matter with me. 

Briggs. You look as if you had lost your last friend. I 

wish you would change the expression of your face. Go and 

get dressed. Don't stay here. {Exit Col., r.) Some of you 

fellows had better clear out of here before Mr, King comes 

18 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 



19 



over. If you don't you will be likely to leave on the toe of his 
boot. 

Smith. Oh, you are safe enough for a few minutes yet. 
King is out on the field. 

Enter Sid., l., dragging Ferg. after him. Ferg. is elabor- 
ately and somewhat loudly dressed. He ivears an ora?ige 
tie and his trousers are turned unnecessarily high reveal- 
ing ora?ige stockings. 

Sid. Come in, old top, and show yourself. Captain, I've 
got a tonic for your team. Look at him, fellows ! Take one 
good look and Derry will appear like a mere trifle. You would 
be able to win from Yale if you were put to it ! 

Enter Wil., r. ; stops abruptly in front of Ferg, Exit 

Murphy, l. 

Wil. Great guns ! Where did it come from ? 

Sid. Sh ! Hush ! Fellows, he's got a girl here ! That 
accounts. 

All. What ? A girl ? How did you ever get away with 
it, Len ? She must be hard up ! 

Enter Ains., r. 

Ferg. (with dignity). I came over here to speak a few 
cheering words to you unfortunate mortals, but now I am not 
going to say a word. {Starts toward door, l. ; stops at door 
and speaks to some one outside.) What? {Turns back.) 
Col ton ! Has Colton come in? 

Big. Yes, he is in his locker. 

Sid. I'll get him ! [Exit, R. 

Briggs {starting to follow). No, you needn't ! {Turns 
impatiently to Ferg.) What is it? Who wants him ? 

Ferg. Only John. He has a message for him. 

Enter Sid., r. 

Sid. Dickie isn't receiving just at present. He is what one 
might term chastely attired in a bath towel and a pair of 
sneakers. 

Briggs. Tell John that the fellows are not allowed to re- 
ceive messages before the game. What in thunder ails you, 
Ainsworth? You are as nervous as a hen ! You jump around 
like a Jack-in-the-box every time any one speaks or moves. I 



20 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

wish you would calm yourself down. You may be needed to 
replace Colton before the afternoon is over, and I don't care 
to send a nervous wreck on to the field. 

(Briggs joins group. Ains. walks away.') 

Wil. (to Ferg.). No sign of Norton ? 

Ferg. No, I guess we scared him off all right. Or per- 
haps he found another funny little fellow. 

Wil. Let's hope he did. Still there's danger of his show- 
ing up. Don't you get so much girl on the brain that you 
can't keep an eye out for him. 

Ferg. All right. {Looks back from door, l.) Here comes 
King. You fellows had better come out of here unless you 
want your heads lifted ! 

(Sid. walks over to Briggs. All the others, excepting the 
football players, exeunt, l.) 

Ferg. {from door). Good luck, fellows ! Eat 'em alive ! 

[Exit. 

Briggs. It's pretty near train time, Sid ! 

Sid. Yes, I'm going right over after the kid. We'll miss 
the start, but I'll get him up to the field just as soon as I can 
and take him where Dick will be sure to see him. 

Briggs (with a sigh). I wouldn't mind having a view of 
him myself. 

Sid. Poor old sport, you are so blamed cheerful all the 
time that we forget you need a bracer yourself occasionally. 
(Throws his arm around Briggs' shoulders.) Roy, with all 
my heart and soul I want you to win to-day. Not for the 
school, but just for yourself. I wish to heaven I had been 
some good at the game so I could fight with you. 

Briggs (grasping Sid.'s hand). Thanks, old man. 

Enter King, l. 

King. Well, fellows ! (Sees Sid. ; sternly.) Sidney, what 
are you doing in here? 

Sid. Talking to Briggs, sir. 

Briggs. It's really my fault, Mr. King. Don't scold him. 
I was rather down for a minute and he said just what I needed 
to hear. 

King. Well, in that case I will have to forgive him, I think. 
(To Sid.) Just the same, you had better run along. [Exit 
Sid., l. Enter Col., r., dressed for game.) Every one ready ? 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH f BOY 2\ 

Briggs (glancing about). Yes, sir. 

{As King talks Ains., unnoticed by others, specks to Col. 
Col. goes to door, l. ; steps outside.) 

King. I did all the talking necessary last night. And the 
faculty talked, and the band played, and the school cheered, 
and all the rest of it. There is no need of telling you again 
what is expected of you. Just keep in mind that this is really 
a football game, not a Sunday-school picnic 1 I believe Derry 
is going to play a kicking game, and you must 

(Col. rushes in with a paper in his hand.) 

Col. Fellows ! Mr. King ! 

King. What is it ? 

Col. Telegram ! 

Briggs {taking paper from his hand, reading). Jimmy 
seriously hurt ! Come at once ! Polly Applebee. 

King {sharply). Who gave this to you? 

Col. John. I've just got time to make the train. Where's 
my coat? 

{Takes a coat from settee and puts it on.) 

Big. Are you going in those clothes ? 

Smith. Great heaven ! Aren't you going to play in the game ? 

Col. Oh, what do I care how I go ? Mr. King, Roy 

King. Don't try to talk, Col ton. Go and forget us ! We 
will pull through. You know that our sympathy goes with 
you, and we all hope that it may not be as bad as the telegram 
suggests. You know a telegram is a very deceptive thing. 

Col. {choking over his words). Yes, sir. Thank you. 
{To Ains.) Phil, you will fill my place. You are the better 
man. You play the better game. Fight for Milford as I 
would have fought, and lead her to victory. {Runs out, l.) 

King {sharply). Not a word, fellows ! Pull yourselves to- 
gether ! Quick ! Ainsworth, don't you dare to show any 
white feather ! Come ! Remember ! No new plays in the 
first half ! 

{All exeunt, L., followed by King. Slight pause. Deane 
enters, looks about with interest. Murphy hurries in, l., 
runs into Deane.) 



22 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Murphy. I beg yez pardon, sir. Is they anythin' yez 
afther vvantin' ? 

Deane {fixing his glasses in place and looking rather 
dazed). No. No, I think not. I was — er — just — looking 
about as it were. I was never in the gymnasium before. This 
is my first visit. 

Murphy. Do yez till me ? Shure, an' it won't be yez last. 
Iviry wan who comes wanst comes agin. They's a fasinition 
ter the place. 

Deane. So it would seem. 

Murphy. An' ter-day yez can't hardly kape thim out with 
brick bats. 

Deane. I have — er — never witnessed football. I have a 
desire to — er— know what form of athletics will evoke so much 
enthusiasm and cause such a demonstration as I witnessed last 
evening. 

Murphy. Shure, thot's roight. We hed a hot toime last 
noight. 

Deane. And so I have decided to attend the game. 

Murphy. Do yez say so, sir? Shure, this do be a big day 
fer Milford. ( Takes up some blankets.) 

Deane {looking at them). Those are — er — blankets, aren't 
they? 

Murphy. Yes, sir, they is. 

Deane. Dear me ! And what do they do with blankets ? 

Murphy. Wrap thimsilves in thim. {Walks toward door.) 
They're afther nadin' some more out there. 

Deane. Wrap themselves in the blankets ? Er — when they 
are playing the game ? 

Murphy. Oh, fer the love of — excuse me, sir, I'll hev ter 
be goin'. If yez wants ter see the game yez bether be afther 
goin' out, fer they stharted some toime ago. 

Deane. Ah, yes, I dare say. 

(Jimmy Colton runs in, l., very much excited. He is 
about eight years old, never stands still for more tha?i a 
second, has a very shrill, piping voice.) 

Jim. Say, what's my brother doing on the Meriden train ? 

Murphy {looking very much surprised). Fer what is yez 
sayin' ? 

Deane. Dear me ! How extraordinary ! Who is the lad ? 

Jim. {dancing about). What's my brother doing on the 
Meriden train ? 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 23 

Murphy. And who is yez brother ? 

Jim. My brother ? Dick Colton. For the love of Mike, 
don't you know him? 

Murphy. Shure, an' are yez Jimmy? 

Deane. Dear me ! Am I to understand that you are Mas- 
ter Colton's brother ? 

Jim. Sure thing. I mean, yes, sir. 

(Sid. rushes in, l.) 

Sid. Murphy, what in blazes ! Oh, beg pardon, Mr. 
Deane ! Of course Colton is out there on the field playing, 
isn't he? 

Deane. Dear me ! I couldn't possibly say. 

Murphy. Will, thin, an' I could ! Dick Colton's gone 
home ! 

Jim. What for? 

Sid. Then he was on the train? I wouldn't believe it. 
Jimmy got a sight of him just as the train was pulling out. I 
thought the kid was seeing things. 

Jim. What's he on the train for ? 

Deane (regarding Jim. in astonishment). Dear me ! Do 
tell the lad why his brother is on the train. 

Murphy. He got a telegram sayin' you wuz hurt and fer 
him ter come home. 

Jim. I was hurt ? It ain't so ! I ain't hurt ! I'm all right ! 
Don't you see I am? 

Sid. Who sent the telegram ? 

Murphy. Shure, an' I think they said it wuz from his 
aunt. 

Deane. Dear me ! How extraordinary ! I don't seem to 
comprehend. 

Jim. (at the top of his voice). No, she didn't ! No, she 
didn't ! Aunt Polly did not send no telegram ! And Dick is 
on the train, and how is he going to play football when he is 
on the train? 

Deane. Dear me ! What an extraordinary child ! Such 
a penetrating voice ! 

(Rey. rushes in, l.) 

Rey. Say, is it true that Colton got a telegram saying his 
brother is hurt ? 

Deane. So it would seem. 



24 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Jim. But it ain't so. I ain't hurt ! I'm right here ! 

Rey. (in surprise). Gee ! Is this the rah ! rah ! kid? 

Deane. Er — yes, so it would seem ! A very good name 
for him. He has done nothing but— er — rah ! rah ! ever since 
he came in. 

Sid. Do you know anything about that telegram, Reynolds ? 

Rey. {vaguely). I don't know. Yes, I think so ! It looks 
like it ! It certainly does ! I'm going and find out ! If it is 
so I'll knock that fellow seven ways for Sunday ! 

[Exit, L., in a hurry. 

Deane. There — er — appears to be exhilaration in the very 
air. 

Sid. Well, some people are a surprise. I wouldn't have 
believed Reynolds had that much life in him. Murphy, take 
Jimmy out to the field. If he can't cheer Dick, he can cheer 
the rest of the team. I'll be along in a minute. 

[Exit Murphy, with Jim. 

Deane. Perhaps I had better be going toward the field, 
also. 

Sid. {looking about). You certainly had if you want to see 
any football. This isn't exactly an ideal location from which 
to view the game. 

Deane. So it would — er — seem. [Exit, l. 

(Ferg. runs in, l.) 

Ferg. Rus, is it true that Dick had a telegram calling him 
home ? 

Sid. Yes ! 

Ferg. Then we are doomed for fair. 

Sid. Why ? How is it going ? 

Ferg. {with a groan). It isn't going excepting for Derry. 
They are walking all around us ! Our fellows are completely 
rattled ! No one's doing a thing but Roy and Fred. Ains- 
worth has gone all to pieces, and is the worst ever. Aren't you 
coming ? 

Sid. Yes, as soon as I can find my overcoat. (Exit 
Ferg., l.) Gee whiz ! I'll use a blanket. (Grabs one and 
starts to exit as Col. rushes in.) Dick ! Dick ! I can't be- 
lieve my eyes ! And wearing my overcoat at that ! If you 
haven't a nerve ! 

Col. {throwing it off). Here, take it ! How is the game 
going ? Is the first half over ? 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 25 

Sid. No, it isn't. The game is going simply awful ! I 
was just going to sit down and weep, but now by the great 
horn spoon, my hope revives ! Sit down and get your breath ! 
How in heaven's name did you get here ? I thought you were 
on your way to Meriden. 

Col. I was. Sid, I caught a glimpse of you and Jimmy 
just as the train was pulling out and I very nearly jumped from 
the window. I was fit to be tied, but there was nothing to do 
but ride on to Farmington. 

Sid. Farmington? Why, that's miles from here and no 
train back until 5 : 30. 

Col. I know it ! I hadn't the least idea how I was going 
to make it, but I left the train at Farmington. I started to 
hike down the road, trusting in the Colton luck to send me a 
conveyance, when I heard a whizzing and along came an auto. 
I waved a distress signal; he slowed up, and I couldn't believe 
my own ears when the man said he was going to Milford A. 
I hopped in, told my story and he let her out for fair. I be- 
lieve we were about ten seconds from Farmington to Milford. 

Sid. Dick, you beat the Dutch ! You land on your feet 
every time. Who was the man ? Do you know ? 

Col. Yes, I believe he said his name was Norton, and I 
think I understood him that he was coming to Milford to look 
for a funny little fellow. 

Sid. {putting his hand to his head). Ye gods ! 

Col. Sid, who could have sent that telegram ? Do you 
suppose some Derry fellow wanted me out of the game ? 

Sid. (with a vague movement of his hands'). I don't know. 
Ask your roommate. He has a theory of some kind. 

Col. Say, it was more than great of you to get the kid 
down here. 

Sid. It was Briggs' idea. Don't you want to go out? It 
seems to me I should feel better if I had some air. 

Col. Sure ! Come on where we can see the game. I 
won't announce my presence until after the first period. It 
must be about over. Ainsworth is winning his M. Let him 
get all the glory he can. 

(They exeunt, l. Slight pause. Deane and Alexander 
Norton enter l. Nor. is rather short, thick-set, flashily 
dressed and has a very loud voice.) 

Deane (looking about). There is no one here at all. 



26 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Nor. Well, the young chap I brought down certainly come 
in here. 

Deane. And I am to understand that three young men 
from our academy — er — posed for you on circus day ? 

Nor. That's what ! One of 'em wuz Fergurson, but I 
don't know what the names of the other fellers wuz. There 
wuz a little one. He sure wuz a wonder, and I gotter find 
him. 

Deane. Extraordinary ! Perfectly extraordinary ! I saw 
that very picture at your theater in Halmsford last week. 

Nor. Yousedid? And didn't you recognize the fellers? 

Deane. Why — er — of course I noted the marvelous like- 
ness to some of our young gentlemen, but — er — of course I 
never dreamed that the — er — originals could be from our 
academy. 

Nor. Then youse knows who the little feller is? 

Deane. Most assuredly. It is Master Williamson. 1 have 
seen too many of his attempts at — er — burlesque in the class- 
room not to easily identify him. But Master Williamson. 
Dear me ! That is extraordinary ! Very ! You say they 
posed on circus day ! 

Nor. Sure they did ! 

Deane. Dear me ! That's since the football season opened ! 
Yes ! Most assuredly ! Dear me ! I must go and see about 
this right away ! 

Nor. And I'll go with yez. I gotter find that little feller ! 

{They exeunt, l. Slight pause. Players enter, followed by 
King and Murphy and Jim., who is very much excited 
and gets in every one* s way. One fellow has to be helped 
in and all appear pretty well tired out. ) 

King. Look after Hunnewell first. (Murphy goes to him. 
Ains. drops into a seat and sits with his head down. King 
looks at him in disgust. Jim. slips up to Ains. and stands 
with his arm around his neck as King talks to him ; finally 
becomes interested in lockers and exits R., before Col. enter j - .) 
Ainsworth, I don't know what to think of you or what to say 
to you. You and Colton were the only subs for Hoslin's place 
and you will have to play the game through, although you are 
almost worse than no one at all. You haven't the nerve or the 
spunk of a kitten ! You are a perfect coward ! Absolutely 
scared off ! If there's any man in you 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 27 

Enter Col., l. Rey. follows. 

All. Here's Dick! Where did you come from? Look 
who's here ! 

King (turning- from Ains.). Colton ! I can't believe my 
eyes ! How did you get back ? Are you all right to play ? 

Col. Yes, sir ! I came back in an auto and I'm all O. K. 
from my head down. What I want to know is who sent that 
telegram. 

Rev. I can tell you. It was Ainsworth ! 

All. What? 

Ains. (with a feeble attempt to defend himself). What do 
you mean ? 

Rev. Just what I say ! You needn't try to bluff it out ! 
You told Smith in our room Wednesday afternoon that you 
would do something to get Dick out of the game if you could. 
Later in the afternoon you came back to our room, wrote the 
telegram, and stole Miss Applebee's address from a letter on 
the table. You thought you were alone, but you weren't. I 
was there and saw you do it ! 

Col. (to Ains., in a blaze of anger). You contemptible 
cur, don't you ever show your face in Milford again as long as 
you live ! You aren't fit to associate with decent fellows ! 
You aren't fit to live ! You 

(Starts for him. Jim. runs in R. ; throws himself at Col.) 

Jim. Dick ! Oh, Dick ! 

Col. (holding him in his arms). Jimmy ! 

Jim. (holding Col. by the neck). Now we'll win the game, 
fellows ! 

King. Ainsworth, get out of here ! Out of every one's 
sight ! (Exit Ains., r.) Now, fellows, we'll get together 
once more ! 

Enter Nor. and Deane, l. 

Deane (pointing at Wil.). There he is ! Isn't that your 
funny little fellow? 

Nor. (delighted, in a voice that could be heard a mile). It 
sure is ! 

(They all stand for a second looking at Nor. and Deane 
in astonishment.) 



28 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Rey. {suddenly darting forward and grabbing Nor. by the 
hand). Why, Mr. Norton, how do you do? I am glad to 
see you. I didn't know you were coming down to-day. Come 
right out with me and get a seat where you can see us knock 
Derry into the middle of next week ! 

{Hustles him toward the door.) 

Nor. {struggling to get away). Why, I don't seem to 

know 

Rey. That's all right ! That's all right ! 

{Hustles him out of door, l.) 

Deane. Mr. King, you will have to take Master William- 
son out of the game. He has no right to play. He 

King. Mr. Deane, if you have anything to report about 
Master Williamson you go and tell it to the statue of General 
Grant over in front of the Academic Building. You can't re- 
port it to me until after the game. Now, will you oblige me by 
getting out of here? You people seem to think we are hold- 
ing a series of afternoon teas over here ! 

Deane. But I tell you 

King {grabbing Deane and walking him toward the door). 
Absolutely nothing ! 

Deane. You lose your position for this ! 

King. Very likely ! But 1 shan't lose it until after the 
game. 

{Puts Deane outside and shuts the door ; turns and faces 
Wil.) 

Wil. {miserably). What shall I do? 

King. Do? Play football ! If you have been doing any- 
thing wrong I'll report you to Dr. Marston myself, and I hope 
he makes you howl, but that won't happen until after the game. 
Just now you are going to put up the fight of your life for 
Milford A. ! You understand ? 

Wil. Yes, sir. 

King. Now, fellows, listen ! Smith, Briggs and Merrill, 
you have got to see that Derry doesn't gain on punting. Now, 
all of you, keep your eyes on the ball. You let them fool you 
half the time. Don't think you know so darned much about 
what they are going to do. You don't know anything about it 
at all ! You let their ends get by you almost every time. 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 29 

Colton, if Hoslin had played to-day he would have helped us 
by kicking a goal ; we hoped more than one. I want you to 
go out there and try it. Are you ready ? 

Col. {choking, and half -dazed). I — I don't know. 

King. What's the matter with you? Chicken hearted? 
Afraid? In that case we might as well have kept Ainsworth. 

Jim. {jumping onto a settee and throwing his arm around 
Col.'s neck). Dick can do it ! Dick can do it ! Can't you, 
Dick? You know you can ! Don't you, Dick? My brother 
can do anything ! Can't you, Dick ? 

King {stepping forward and placing his hand on Col.'s 
shoulder). Is that right, Dick ? Can you do it ? 

Col. (firmly). Yes, sir ! I can do it ! 

King. That's the stuff ! Watch the ball and get it over ! 

Jim. {waving his cap). Rah for Milford A. ! We are going 
to lick the tar out of Derry ! 

All. That's right, kid ! We are ! 

[All exeunt \ l., followed by King and Murphy. 

Enter Ains., r. Stands listening. 

Fellows {outside). Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Milford 
A. ! (He throws himself onto the floor by a settee and buries 
his face in his arms as the fellows continue their cheer.) Col- 
ton ! Colton ! Colton ! 



CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE. — Same as in Act I. Col.'s room. A table is spread 
in the center of the room. Seated about the table are King, 
Nor., Briggs, Col., Big., Wil., Sid., Ferg., Rey., Jim., 
and other ?ne?nbers of teain. 

(As curtain rises King stands at head of table talking to the 
fellows.') 

King. And now, fellows, we come to the close of our foot- 
ball season. We have met our enemy and we have conquered 
him. We have finished in a blaze of glory. We can afford to 
be generous. Let us forget any wrongs or grievances, and re- 
member only the good. Let us keep ever before us our motto 
— " Loyalty to the school and to each other." And now may 
I propose the last toast — to the one who really did the trick for 
us, to the hero of the day, our mascot, a regular rah ! rah ! 
boy. 

All (jumping to their feet). Jimmy! 

Col. (standing Jim. in a chair). You have to respond to 
that, kid. 

All. Sure thing ! Speech, Jimmy I 

Jim. {looking about and smiling doubtfully). Do I ? Well, I 
never made a speech, and I guess I don't just know how. It's 
corking of you fellows to say I helped win the game when I 
didn't do nothing but cheer, you know. Some time, though, 
when I grow bigger I'm coming here to school, and I'm going 
to play football and beat Derry all to smithers. And — and — I 
guess I'll be captain of the team, maybe, but whatever I am, 
I'm going to be just like my brother. 

(Jim. sits do7vn rather breathless.) 

All. Three cheers ! Bully boy ! Some kid ! 

King. Now, fellows, much as I hate to, I shall be obliged 
to leave you. I have several things which must be attended to 
to-night. (Shakes hands with Nor.) Mr. Norton, I am very 
glad to have met you. When you brought Dick back to us to- 
day you did us a favor which we will never forget, and when 
the boys go down to see those Nervy Novelties I'm going to be 
right there, too. 

30 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 3 1 

Briggs. Now, fellows, all together. Make it good ! 

All. Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Mr. King ! 
Mr. King ! Mr. King ! [Exit, King. 

Nor. Well, gents, I oughter be goin', too. It'sgettin' late, 
and think where I gotter go ! 

Briggs. What makes you go? Why don't you stay over 
night ? 

Nor. Couldn't think of it ! Possibly ! You young gents 
don't understand. 

Col. Well, you don't have to go for a while, anyway. I 
know from experience that choo-choo-wagon of yours goes about 
147 a minute ! 

Briggs. We've got some star performers here, Mr. Nor- 
ton. I'll bet your vaudeville actors can't touch some of our 
stunts. 

Nor. I believe it ! You've got one funny little fellow here 
that beats anything I ever had. It certainly am a shame that 
your principal here don't think he oughter pose any more. Jest 
you wait, Mr. Williamson, until youse see yerself on the 
screen. 

Wil. I'm afraid I'll have to wait a while before I see my- 
self anywhere outside the garden gate. 

Nor. What do yez mean ? Ain't youse comin' down with 
the team next Wednesday night? You knows I invited the 
whole team, and your principal said youse could go. 

Wil. Yes, all but the funny little fellow. He said I had 
been funny once too often. That he was afraid my sense of 
humor was too strongly developed. He is going to pass sen- 
tence bright and early Monday morning, and I bet I don't take 
any more excursions until I go home for Christmas vacation. 

Nor. Do youse mean to say youse gotter be punished be- 
cause you posed fer me ? 

Wil. Oh, no ! Not that ! You see, I broke several dif- 
ferent rules when I went down to Halmsford that day. I was 
only a sub at the time, but the next week I was put on the 
regular team, and I have played in several games that I couldn't 
have played in if Dr. Marslon had known about circus day. 
He can't help what has been done, but he thinks he can make 
me sorry. He has another think coming to him. Do his 
worst, he can't make me sorry that I posed as a Nervy Novelty. 
If I hadn't, you wouldn't have come to Milford looking for a 
funny little fellow, and brought Dick along just in time to save 
the day. 



32 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Nor. I am going right over and see Dr. Marston. 

Wil. No, you don't ! 

Nor. But it's me got you into the mess by blabbing about 
my Novelties. I wants to make it right. 

Briggs. You made it right this afternoon, Mr. Norton. 
We had better let Dr. Marston forget about past events as soon 
as possible. 

Wil. You bet ! He has heard enough about my perform- 
ances for one day. To-morrow is Sunday. Perhaps by Mon- 
day he will have cooled down a little. 

Nor. But youse won't see youseself on the screen. 

Wil. Such is an unkind fate. I have a vivid imagination, 
and I can guess at lots of things, and then the fellows can tell 
me how I looked. Fire away, Dick. You are the host, and it 
is time you did some of the entertaining. Prove you can do 
something besides kick a goal. 

All. That's right ! Go ahead, Dickie ! 

(Col. gives a popular song, all joining in the chorus.) 

Col. (returning to his place). All right, Sam. Your turn. 

Big. Nothing doing ! Nobody home ! It's too much like 
work, and I've worked all I'm going to for one while. I'm not 
going to do anything but eat for days and days and days. 
Think of all the good things I have missed in the last two 
months just for the sake of being hammered and banged and 
pretty near killed. 

Briggs. Come now, Sam, we have listened to that sort of 
talk for quite a while, and yet when the time came you were 
always just as ready as the rest of us to fight for the glory of 
Milford A. Admit that you are proud of your position on the 
team. Tell the truth ! You wouldn't have missed it, would 
you? 

Big. (with a serene smile). Missed it? Not if I had been 
obliged to live on oatmeal for the rest of my life. 

All. Three cheers ! That's the talk ! 

Ferg. That's the greatest compliment ever paid to our gal- 
lant nine. 

Sid. You dear old steam plow, you have vindicated your- 
self! 

Briggs. I always knew you had the true Milford spirit. 

Big. There, you run away and play ! It's Milford spirit 
that has had me hypnotized for the last three months. Len, 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 33 

you never do anything but a heavy looking on, supposing you 
rise to the occasion. 

All. That's right ! Go ahead ! (Ferg. starts to sing, 
"All that I Ask is Love.") Oh ! Listen ! Squelch him ! 
Is it as bad as that ? We didn't know you were really affected ! 

Ferg. You fellows give me a pain ! I was invited to a 
dance to-night and I was simpleton enough to stay here with 
you fellows instead. I bet next time I get an invitation I will 
go for all you fellows. 

Sid. I hope you were honest enough to tell her that you 
don't dance. 

Ferg. {indignantly). Don't dance? 

Wil. Surely you don't call the funny antics that you 
sometimes allow your feet to go through with dancing? 

Ferg. I suppose you think you are funny. 

Wil. I know that I am. I have Mr. Norton's word for it. 

Briggs (to Rey.). I really believe he thinks he can dance. 

Rey. Well, can't he? 

Sid. Can't he? You ought to see him ! He tried to learn 
the tango, and his scissors step was something never to be for- 
gotten. He looked like a pair that was to remain permanently 
open. It didn't seem as if they ever could close. He got his 
left foot crossed over his right, and he had to send for a derrick 
to lift his left foot back again. 

Ferg. Just to pay you for that I will go on with my song. 

(Ferg. gives a popular song. Other numbers may be intro- 
duced if desired. Musical numbers, recitations, and so 
forth. Deane enters. Fellows are very much surprised.) 

Col. Sit right down, Mr. Deane ! We are glad to have 
you with us. 

Deane. Thank you ! Thank you ! I think I won't sit 
down. I just came in for a second. I — I want to tell you 
that I witnessed the game this afternoon. I never saw football 
before, and although I fear I didn't comprehend all of the 
moves — didn't exactly take them in as it were, still I was im- 
pressed — er — yes, impressed. It was extraordinary, yes — very. 
And — er — you will pardon me, but — er — I think you are all 
somewhat extraordinary. I fear I have not been fully in sym- 
pathy with you since I came here, not fully. Now — er — to-day 
when I thought of having Master Williamson taken out of the 
game, I thought only of the fact that he had no right to play, 



34 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

don't you know? I didn't consider the fact that it might 
inconvenience you. I — er — trust that you bear me no ill will? 

Wil. Of course we don't, Mr. Deane. I shouldn't have 
played in those games. Your standpoint was the right one. 
I didn't realize it at first, but I have thought a good deal about 
it in the last few days, and if it hadn't been for the crippled 
condition of the team I'd have owned up. As it is, I have 
helped win the victory, and I guess now that it will be easier to 
take my medicine. 

Deane. I admire your spirit, Master Williamson. I ad- 
mired it to-day when you were talking with Dr. Marston ; so 
much so, indeed, that I have been to see him this evening and 
begged him as a personal favor to me to suspend sentence 
until after Wednesday, so you can go down to Halmsford with 
the team. 

Nor. And you can see youseself on the screen after all ! 

Wil. Why, Mr. Deane, that's more than bully of you to do 
that for me. 

All. Right-oh ! 

Deane. Oh, it's nothing ! Nothing at all ! I fear I have 
misunderstood many things. I never until to-day seemed to 
have the right atmosphere, or spirit I might say. 

Big. That's it, Mr. Deane. It's the spirit that gets you 
every time. 

Deane. So it would — er — seem. (To Col.) No, thank 
you; really, I couldn't eat a thing. I will — er — drink — er — 
the ginger ale. (Col. fills a glass for him ; he lifts the glass.) 
To — er — the team ! 

Briggs. Now, fellows, good ones ! 

All. Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Milford A. ! Mr. Deane ! 
Mr. Deane ! Mr. Deane ! 

Deane. Dear me ! I didn't know so much pleasure could 
be derived from hearing one's name thus heralded. 

Nor. Me neither. When the team cheered me this after- 
noon I never felt so set up in my life. Fellers, I never hed no 
advantages or education. I wuz working when I wuz ten years 
old, and to-day is the first time I ever stepped foot into a place 
like this. You've used me white and I ain't never going to 
forget it. I'm sorry I can't have no more picters of the funny 
little feller, but I'm mighty glad I hed one, for it's given me 
the chance ter have the time of my life. Now I gotter go, 
and next Wednesday night I'll be lookin' for youse and there 
won't be nothin' in the Star Theatre too good for you. 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 



35 



All. Sorry you have to go ! We'll be there, Mr. Norton ! 
Good-night. 

{Exeunt Deane and Nor., c. Jim. leaves table, curls up 
in an armchair and goes to sleep.) 

Wil. Master Reynolds, there's something I want to hear 
about. I've been dying to ask you some questions but I 
couldn't very well while Norton was here. 

Rey. Well, you will never hear about anything until you 
drop the Master Reynolds business. You can call me any- 
thing you like, but you can't call me that. I go on a strike 
right now. 

Col. There, calm down, Steve. It isn't like you to get 
excited. After the favor you did us to-day we will call you 
anything you say. 

All. Sure thing. 

Wil. How did you happen to collar Norton and lug him 
out just when things were getting interesting? You didn't 
really know him, did you ? 

Rey. No, I never saw him before. But for goodness' sake 
don't let him know. I have made him think that we are well 
acquainted. You see I was up here Wednesday afternoon. I 
had just come and was in the other room. I hated to say any- 
thing to you fellows and I heard what you said about Norton. 

Sid. If you heard that I guess you heard some other things, 
too, about yourself, didn't you ? 

Rey. Yes, but I don't mind, really. You fellows have 
been great to me. I feel as if I had always been here. 

Ferg. Well, we will be greater still. You certainly are a 
handy fellow to have around. 

Enter Smith, c. 

All. Hello, Harold ! 

Col. What luck ? 

Smith. None at all. {Drops into a chair.) Gee! I'm 
done out ! Got anything left ? 

All {pushing dishes toward him). Sure ! Plenty ! Here ! 
Try this ! 

Smith. That will do for a start, thank you. 

Col. Didn't you see any sign of Phil at all ? 

Smith. No. I've been to every place I can think of that 
he would be likely to go. He must have started for home. 

Ferg. Not very likely. He was wearing his football togs. 



36 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Col. That doesn't count if he felt as excited as I did when 

I started. 

Sid. I think he borrowed my overcoat. Dick had it first, 
and when he showed up I was so excited I forgot to put it on, 
and after Ainsworth disappeared it was missing again. 

Smith. Well, I can't imagine where he is unless he did 
start for home. 

Big. Well, I should fret ! 

Col. Well, now, fellows, I tell you what it is. We have 
got to find Ainsworth and bring him back here. 

Briggs {impatiently). Will you kindly explain why? 

Sid. I should say as much. 

Col. I am responsible for the fact that he has gone. It 
was what I said. 

Ferg. Oh, Dick, forget it ! You make me feel terribly 
fatigued. 

Wil. It's a good thing he had sense enough to depart. 
Milford would be a horribly unhealthy place for him after this. 

Col. {firmly). That's just what it's not going to be. Phil 
is coming back, and we are going to put him on his feet again, 
and start him in the right direction. 

Sid. Are we, indeed ? 

Big. That's real interesting. I am glad you told us. 

Col. I'm not joking, fellows. I'm in deadly earnest. If 
Phil goes away now when he is in trouble, and we are all 
against him, there is no telling where he will go or what he will 
do. Perhaps he will not go home at all. All the fall we have 
talked about school spirit, and how loyal we are to the school, 
and the team and each other. Now is the time to show how 
much school spirit we really have. It is when a fellow is down 
that you should stand by him and prove your loyalty. You 
may think I exaggerate, but Phil's whole future life may be 
made or marred by just the stand we take now. 

Briggs. That's true, Dick, but I don't believe I should 
have ever thought of it. Come, fellows, we stand with Dick 
in this, don't we? We will do just what he says. Stand by 
Ainsworth, and start him again in the right direction. 

All. We sure will ! 

Ferg. (with a nervous laugh). Look at our mascot ! 

Col. Played out ! I don't wonder. This has been some 
day for us older fellows. 

Sid. Fellows, we've got just five minutes to get to our 
rooms and lights out. 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ? BOY 



37 



All. What ? Impossible ! Can't be ! 

Wil. {looking at his watch). Well, it is ! Five minutes of 
eleven ! Come on, fellows ! Good-night, Dick ! 

All {making a general rush to the door). Good-night, 
Dick ! 

Dick. Good-night. {Looks about.) Glory, Steve, isn't 
this room a sight? {Looks down at Jim.) I hate to wake him 
up. I believe I will camp here with him for the night. I am 
actually too tired to go to bed. 

(Ains. slips in at door, c, then closes the door and locks it. 
He wears an overcoat over his football clothes.) 

Ains. Colton ! 

(Col. and Key. turn quickly.) 

Rey. It's Ainsworth ! 

Col. Phil ! 

Ains. Hush ! Some one will hear you. {Hesitates and 
glances at Rey.) I wanted to see you, Colton. (Rey. exits 
R.) I forgot that Reynolds roomed with you. 

Col. Phil, I'm so glad you have come back. I can't tell 
you how sorry I am that I spoke to you as I did to-day. I was 
beside myself. I didn't know what I was saying. I wanted a 
chance to apologize. 

Ains. You apologize to me ? Why in heaven's name didn't 
you do me up to-day when you had the chance? Why don't 
you kick me out of this room now ? 

Col. Sit down, Phil. You are completely done out. 

Ains. No ! I've only come back for a minute. I don't 
want any one to know. I'm going to get some clothes and 
sneak away again. {There is a knock at the door. Under his 
breath.) Who's that? 

Deane {outside). Lights out, Colton. 

Col. {turning the light out). Yes, sir. {He lights a can- 
dle and brings it to the table.) There, no one will notice that. 
Where are you going, Phil ? What are you going to do ? 

Ains. Away somewhere and start over again. This was 
my last year at school, anyway. I've got to go to work next 
year, and I might as well go now, but I couldn't leave without 
a word to you, Dick. If you only knew how I hate myself! 
How disgusted I am with what I did to you ! How perfectly 
miserable I am ! 



38 A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 

Col. Don't talk about it, Phil. It's all over and forgotten. 

Ains. Forgotten ? Never as long as I live. 

Col. That's all foolishness, you know. 

Ains. You don't realize what I did ! Came into your room 
when you were out, stole your aunt's address, hired a brake- 
man on one of the trains to send the telegram from your home 
town, and 

Col. Phil, what is the sense in going over all this again ? 
If you are sorry and want to make it right, that's the only thing 
to consider. But, Phil, you don't want to go away to make a 
new start, you want to make it right here among the fellows. 

Ains. Among the fellows ? Why, they would ride me out 
of Milford on a rail. 

Col. No, they wouldn't. If you mean what you say, and 
want to make good, they will stand by you. 

Ains. You mean you would, and possibly Harold. 

Col. {going to door, r., and calling). Steve, come in here ! 
{Enter Rey., r.) Now, Phil, Steve will tell you that I am 
speaking the truth. Harold gave up all the fun here to-night, 
and has been out for hours searching for you. We wanted you 
back again. Every fellow who was in this room to-night is 
pledged to help you wipe out the memory of to-day, and start 
over again. 

Rey. That is true, Ainsworth. I — I want to apologize, too. 
I'm sorry that I denounced you to-day as I did. 

Ains. Dick, I couldn't ! Couldn't face the fellows ! 
Couldn't face the faculty. I'll begin again, and I'll make 
good, but I can't do it here. You don't know what you ask. 

Col. This is the place to make your fight, Phil, right here. 
Live down the wrong and make a new name. Here's my 
hand, Ainsworth, I'll stand beside you and help. 

Rey. I don't count for much, but here's my hand, too, and 
I'll stand on the other side. 

Jim. {moving and sitting up suddenly). Where am I at, 
Dick ? Is it morning ? 

Col. Pretty near, I guess. {Picks Jim. up and stands him 
on a chair beside Ains.) Now tell Phil that he doesn't want to 
go away. That he wants to stay right here. 

Jim. {throuuing one arm aroufid Ains.' neck and murmuring 
sleepily). Sure ; stay here. It's a corking place. 

Ains. Fellows, I don't know what to say. 

Col. Just say that you will stay, and leave the rest to us. 

Ains. Yes, I will say that I'll stay, but I won't leave it to 



A REGULAR RAH ! RAH ! BOY 39 

you. I'll not take refuge behind your generosity. All that I 
am I will owe to you, but I will stand on my own feet, make 
my own fight, and I'll win ! 

Col. Now, Steve {glancing toward door), draw it mild, 
but make it good. 

Rfy \ (together). Ainsworth ! Ainsworth ! Ains worth ! 



CURTAIN 



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